How Many Maintenance Men Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Recently I have gone on a business trip to Florida. My flight back to Georgia was scheduled for 4:50 to 6:30 pm. As we sat at the gate waiting to board we saw all the passages get off the plane at the normal 4:15. 4:30 rolls around and we should be boarding. The screen still says that our flight is on time and the plane is there so no worries. 4:40 comes and goes and then 4:50. But no worries because the screen still says the flight is on time. It is in the 5 o’clock hour and someone gets on the intercom and informs the passengers that a light has been cracked and it will be a half hour before the maintenance man can get there to change it. But it will only take about 10 minutes to change. We wait, other flights board and leave. We wait 30 minutes. No maintenance man. We wait, another 10 minutes. The intercom blares, “Airtran to Atlanta: maintenance is here so it should only be a few more minutes. If you look out the window you can see maintenance working.” 10 minutes later, we wait. Looking out the window it seems like there are just a bunch of men meandering around. We wait and wait.

Finally, the intercom says they are going to start boarding. A line has formed in front of the door. I walk up and the intercom blares “We are now boarding Zone 1 for Atlanta.” I’m Zone 1, I look at the line. No one is moving. I ask the first person in line if they are Zone 1. No, no one is. I surpass the line and am the first one on board. I find my seat and sit down. The seat is exceedingly slanted. I switch the cushion with the one next to it. It is still slanted. I switch it back. The seat also has a big space between the cushion and the back. I joke with my colleague that I’m going to end up ripping my britches on my seat before the flight is over. No one else is boarding. It takes about 20 minutes to get everyone on the plane. The plane is only about a quarter of the way full.

After take off, which was after the time when we were supposed to land, I decide that I cannot sit in a crooked seat for the entire flight. As soon as I get a chance I jump up and snag a seat in the front row of coach. I sit. The seat is wet. I can’t get out because I am now getting asked what I want to drink and the fasten seatbelt sign was still on. As soon as the stewards turned to get my drink I jumped up and ran back to my nice dry slanted seat.

The pilot must have had a thing about staying at the same altitude. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster instead of an airplane. But it was okay because soon enough the pilot informs us that he has started his decent. I mutter under my breath “no sh@$” as it was clear by the nose dive the plane was in. The flight intercom then states “We will be landing soon. Please, put your seats in their full and upright position, tray tables locked, and fasten your seatbelt.” I fasten my seat belt and it breaks. I laugh with shear disbelief. Amazing we landed and got off the plane with out dying. It was only an hour and a half later then when we were supposed to land. What a great first business trip.