The wedding proceeded despite the bride’s brutality. During the entire wedding I could feel my feet going numb. I would normally blame the shoes but I have worn them before with no problems. I don’t know how but I am sure that was the bride's fault.
Then it was time for the bouquet toss. Being an eligible person of the female persuasion, I took my place among all the others for the traditional flower rumble. Taking the customary wide stances in my dress to prepare myself for the untamed havoc that would soon arise. I saw the bride make eye contact with me. She turned her back and then the next thing I knew the flowers were barreling at my face with a force so great I could not believe. I put my hands up to grab the bouquet but I was too late. The flowers had smacked me in the face and bounced to the floor where savages grappled to retrieve the bouquet.
Being that there were many people at this wedding I was able to steer clear of the bride for a while. That was until the dance floor. We met again. I tried not to show fear and continue dancing. Despite my best efforts, the bride could see my fear and head butted me. I held my head in pain. My dancing did not improve.
Finally, the wedding was over and I was able to escape with my life still intact. Unfortunately, the nightmare of the sister-in-law begins. Will I survive the next family function? We shall see.
11 comments:
Well just be happy you weren't the groom. Just think of the joy she must have had smashing cake into his face. Although the boquet is a weapon in its own right
I think if you had caught the bouquet my little sister (aka Monster Bride Wannabe) would have football tackled you and stolen it. All 5 pounds of her. It's actually probably better she got it off the ground.
So knowing this you threw the bouguet at Erin anyhow. Hmm, sounds like you wanted to see her injured. Although after a couple in lab wrestling matches I don't know if your sister had that good of a chance. After all we dropped a file cabinet on Erin and she's still around.
Yeah, the lab was pretty hard on me too. The worst was when I was picking on Kris and fell out of my chair. I got the biggest bruise on my butt. Finally, I bruised so I could show that I was hurt from work and I couldn’t show anyone. :(
Just be happy you finally have a sister (in-law or not).
Actually the boquet hit the tips of your fingers and they landed at my feet, wher they stayed until someone else picked them up. I don't need that kind of stress.
Other than that, I support Erin's recollection of everything. Karin is kind of evil.
Muahaha.
Actually, the bouquet and my hands passed in midair with out touching. The flowers hit the right side of my forehead.
Now now Erin, have to remember your depth perception. It very easily could have hit your hands and you only thought it was your forehead. As for wanting a sister, who would ever want a sister...ewww!
It's official...from my lips of babes "I am Erin and weak"
But on a side note, I have been informed by some very confident sources that Erin's sight deficit would lead to an increased tactile sense there for making it nearly impossible for her to mistake getting hit in the hands as getting hit in her head. Furthermore, supposedly the sensory ganglia for the hands does not spatially reside near those of the head suggesting that there is no chance of refered pain.
Yeah I don't mine being called a babe just not a baby. That's Karin's name. Much like Erin and Karin, Babe and Baby are close but no where near the samething:P
Either way, Erin never had a chance at those flowers.
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