Deal or No Deal?

As a result of my unfortunate event with the prehistoric woman that destroyed my car, I was forced to hunt for a new mode of transportation for me and the Sleepy Sheepy Resort. I was less than ecstatic to spend my nights and weekends talking to used car dealers. But I took one for the team and went.

For the first hunt, I went to the Morrow GMC and Toyota dealerships. I dressed appropriately in jeans, a Killer Bunny t-shirt, and College of Engineering hat. I figured the less girly the better for dealing with these cut throats. I pulled up in the GMC parking lot. Before I was able to turn off my ignition, there was the first dealer standing at my door. I was able to take him by surprise as I pulled up in a new Mazda 6 (my rental), but that quickly wore off. He asked me what I wanted in a car, and I was very clear. “I want a car that has 6 cylinders and big windows I can see out of.” Hmmm…he started to show me the new line of Mazda. At each car I would say, “The windows are a little small, is this a 6 cylinders engine?” He would say, “Hmm…let me look, no, but wouldn’t you look great in this?” As my patience wore thin, I finally got him to the used car section and even got to drive a car. A real car! I was a Pontiac sedan and I hated it. Then I drove a Pontiac Vibe and liked the car but still couldn’t see. I left the lot THREE HOURS later extremely dissatisfied with my experience. I wanted to go home but made myself continue the hunt next door.

The Toyota dealership was a complete zoo. There was no place to park. I drove around trying to find a parking spot while dodging the people walking around. Finally I was able to park and walk around a little before a man approached me. I said very directly, “I want to drive that Ford Taurus and that Toyota Matrix.” The sales man got the keys and gave me the Matrix car keys. I was a little confused as the GMC dealer would not let me drive the car out of the parking spaces. But I took it and we were off. The dealer noticed my hat and told me he went to Iowa State for Civil Engineering. Small world I guess. I was very polite and I wondered how you go from one of the top engineering schools to a used car dealer. I liked the Matrix a lot.

The Ford drove poorly. I was surprised at the poor shape it was in, but I really was just looking. The window said $390. I asked what that meant and was told it was the monthly payments. “O, how many months?” I asked. The dealer did not know, we had to ask the banker. Okay, it was a game like Deal or No Deal, I got it. So we went to talk to the banker. This slick talker came up and poured on the charm. However, I asked him a million different ways and never got the price of the car. Finally, when he asked me what I wanted to spend I left. I didn’t like that game.

Then next hunt was at CarMax in Morrow. The dealer there was a physics major. Wow, lots of smart people selling used cars. I drove a few cars, liked the place but nothing in the lot really caught my eye.

The next weekend I went to Newnan to the Ford and Toyota dealerships. This time I decided to go to the movies after car shopping so dressed a little nicer and did my hair. I figured I could brave the wild in style. It was just a big stereotype of car dealers, right? At the Ford dealer I walked the entire lot and never was approached. I had to go into the store where about 10 old men were. Standing there for a while I had to ask for someone to help me. NO one jumped but I finally got someone to let me test drive a sedan. Only one though. No more than that. But the dealer did show me the nice extra roomy glove compartment. Wasn’t that sweet of him? I was really trying hard not to physically harm the dealers.

The Toyota dealer was nice and let me drive another Matrix. I was hooked. But I really liked Carmax. So I looked on line to order a Matrix. I found one, went to order, sold. Found another, went to order, sold. And again. FINALLY, I got one. I reeled it in all the way from Miami.

It was love a first sight. Now I just had to arm wrestle the bank and choke hold the old lady’s insurance company and the car was mine. Yup, my very own 2003 Toyota Matrix. Partially loaded. You know it has an engine, a chassis, and rear defrost. Jesse really liked it. We went for a drive to see how the new wheels of the Sleepy Sheepy Resort handled. It got 2 hoofs up.

Jesse taking the Resort's new car out for a spin. (Click to enlarge)

Now if I can just keep this car in one piece. People are always trying to hit me. I think people are told that they get better gas mileage if they don’t use the blinker. Or maybe they just don’t know what it is. No driver’s education required to drive. So hopefully I will survive the crazy drivers of the roads.