For The Birds

Today started off well. It rained. Do you know how happy that makes me? Most people would say it was because Georgia is in the middle of a terrible drought and are afraid of running out of water. Okay, I’ll give you that the rain is good so we have water to shower, brush our teeth, do our laundry, wash our floors, and all that jazz. (Not that you could get some people down here to do that even if there was a flood.) However, I was happy to see/hear the rain because I got sleep. Yes sleep. GLORIOUS SLEEP!!! You hear me!? The pitter patter of rain drops knocks me out like a right hook. And with sleep comes a clearer mind. Go clear minds! That insomnia crap is for the birds.

You know what else is for the birds? Nothing!! But apparently no one told them that. You see I was using my new found brain to do some due diligence on my work. I was doing well, too, until I hear this sound; as if someone gently rapping, rapping at my window. “‘Tis my boss," I muttered, "tapping at my window; Only this, and nothing more."

O wait, sorry wrong bird story. But my boss does like to tap on the window to get you outside for a smoke. Funny, I don’t smoke; funnier my boss is home hacking his lungs out. My interest peaked. If not my boss, then who or what was tapping at my window? It grew louder and into a Thud. Thud..Thud…THUD…THUD

Okay, that was getting creepy, so I went over to the window to open the blinds. I drew back the cord and these big black masses flung from the window sill to the dark sky. I drew back another blind and more masses exploded into the sky. What was going on?

I moved to the door to see what had been beckoning me to come outside. I opened the door, and there in front of me…surrounding me…was a murder; an honest to god murder. It was so massive! I have never seen such a large murder of crows in my life. They had been tapping at my window and now circled the sky above me cawing and crowing.

Ya that was enough for me. I went back inside and shut my blinds. I went to my boss’s office, the same boss that shares a window of walls with me and the one boss that was actually at work. I told her what happened and asked her if she had the bird knocking on her windows and if she saw them. She looked and me and said that she had no idea what I was talking about.

I know I saw them. I am actually awake today. I cowered in my office until the end of the work day, after everyone else had gone home. I sat there, alone, wishing I didn’t have to go outside again and be eaten by birds. But I was hungry. I knew I could not live on the peanuts in my drawer. So I ventured out. I peaked outside, ran to my car, locked the doors, and peeled out of the parking lot.

I made it home without a sign of the murder. I think I am safe. I hope I am safe. I might be safe. I probably will be murdered… as long as it rains while it happens I’ll be fine.