Lately, I have been pretty lucky about dogging death in
Georgia.
Except for that guy today that took up 6 parking spots in the Kroger parking lot waiting to get his emissions checked.
I ALMOST had to bash his old, grey haired head into his steering column and then probably get beat down by a cop.
But I refrained myself;
Georgia is turning me soft.
O for those of you that doesn’t know I suffer from extreme parking rage.
If you’re moving we’re all good, but once you stop you better be in a designated parking spot, WITHIN your lines. Okay, but that is not what this post is about.
Although, I have been able to defy death lately (note the lack of posting), Georgia has taken it to the next level. It has entered my dreams; or should I say nightmares? The following was the nightmare I had last night that woke me up at 3:30 am and was so scary that I could not fall back asleep. Or at least I didn’t want to for fear of what might follow.
I stood there, eyeing the big closet. I had become aware that it was caging people in its own little hell. The tortured cries of the souls drew me to action. I knew I had to save them from The Closet. I sprung into action freeing many. One of the freed beings was a good friend of mine. I was happy I was able to help her and the others. But there were still others locked inside of vessels that were strewn about the defeated closet and outer floor. I asked, "Why are some people in vessels?" To which I was informed that it was like solitary confinement. Seeing the shear terror of the vessels I dared asked, “What was the torture like in hell, and what do these poor unfortunate souls feel now?” I was told that inside the vessels were the person and singing daisies. That's right, hell is full of singing daisies just annoying the shit out of everyone. The horror! But I just could not stand there. We discussed the captive people and how to free them while we cleaned up the kitchen; it had become a mess from the fight for freedom. Just then, I saw a jar that had come out of hell. I looked at it, and it had many ingredients. I read the first ingredient, and it was teddy bear blood.
At that exact point I woke up. I think my teddy bear Roger bit me because he didn't like my dream. However, I contest that singing daisies are quite scary in their own right. I still had that freaked out feeling of not wanting to go back to bed after a really bad nightmare. So if ever someone asks you what hell is like you can tell them it is filled with singing daisies and teddy bear blood. At least the one in Georgia is.
22 comments:
Well I still argue that I'd rather have singing daisies instead of shapeless shadows chasing me down the street with knives.
Although I guess it does beg the question, what were the daisies singing?
You don't have to bring Donnice into this, Justin. Just because she likes to walk around with knives.
I don't know what they were singing. Roger didn't let me get that far.
This is an amazing story, even though I'd already heard it once today. :)
Good work.
(PS... why do you guys have such weird dreams? Why can't you dream about nice things?"
Hmm, that's such an important detail to be had. For example if the daisies were impersonating you singing psalms I would have to strongly consider avoiding GA and putting a whole lot of effort into avoiding hell.
Hmm, interesting question Preston. Maybe there is some uniting factor that would explain our dreams. What could that be?
Preston, what fun would nice dreams be? Pfft.
Justin, true that. I'll let you know if the daisies come a singing tonight.
I'm guessing... Geb? Yeah.. Geb is probably the uniting factor.
We'll have to see what dreams others who have associated with Geb have. Maybe that will be the case.
Since most of you have been away from Geb for awhile, maybe it is lack of Geb that causes the dreams or night mares.
Interesting point. On the one hand Geb's active presence did block the nightmares. But really prohibiting sleep doesn't really count. Whatever the case may be, they would have to be pretty messed up to be having nightmares because of a lack of Geb.
Oh wait, let's think about who we are talking about. I think Nancy wins the prize. That has to be the reason.
Thanks for your support "Sheepy"
Is hell like being trapped inside "It's a Small World" except with singing daisies instead of children? That would be something to stay away from.
Forget the singing, my allergies are acting up just thinking about that.
I didn't say anything about the daisies having sex, just singing.
What's the punishment for getting a lame song stuck in people's heads?
I think that is the 9th circle of hell.
1st, I haven't threatened anyone with a knife since I left Iowa. (Bats are the weapon de jour.) 2nd I'm doing you a favor. I'm allowing you the pleasure of telling me your stories rather than reading the blog. :)
PS: I got a ticket for Oct 31, now I must commence with the quitting. HaHa
O like bats are anything new. I remember our RA rounds.
Traveling on Halloween? Scary.
Not as scary as traveling with me.
No nothing is as scary as traveling with Justin. Makes me twitch even thinking about it. Excuse me I have to go to the corner and assume the fetal position.
Hi Roger, Erin said you were worried about me. I'm doing alright, I just don't know what I'm doing after December. Thanks for trying to keep Erin from having bad dreams. I wish I had a teddy bear like you to make sure I have only good dreams :-)
I didn't even realize it was Halloween, just that it was a uber cheap flight $221 omaha to cancun.
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