The Church got me. You see I went home to be with family for the holidays. During mass the priest mentioned that this Thanksgiving marked the 44th anniversary of JFK’s death. Of course when we went home everyone started talking about where they were when JFK was shot. All was good until my mom told her story.
My mother was in 1st grade when it happened. An older boy came to her classroom and announced that the president was shot. No other details were given. The nun told all the kids to pray. They had to pray really hard that JFK was shot in the foot. And as you know, JFK was not shot in the foot.
You see if mom had prayed harder and truly believed that bullet would have left his head and went to the foot. It would have been a miracle! The brain surgeons would have been relieved and the foot doctors could have taken over. But NO my mom didn’t pray hard enough. She didn’t believe strong enough. Her faith was too weak. And thus because of her inadequacies she let JFK die. God was testing my mom and her 1st grade class. And they failed.
Later my aunt would ask mom if she felt bad about killing JFK. My mom told my aunt that she didn’t for the last 44 years but now that I pointed it out she did. At least she still has her Catholic guilt. I thanked her for teaching me how to distribute it out so well.
13 comments:
Hmm, I wonder what Erin didn't pray hard enough to save. Maybe she's why JKF Jr. died.
Naw, Justin... I just prayed that you would be happy, nice, caring, and sane.
You know that country song "Some of God's Greatest Gifts Are Unanswered Prayers" ? Maybe it's not that you or your mom didn't pray hard enough, just that it's not in God's plan (Justin wouldn't be Justin if he was sane just like JFK wouldn't be the legend that he is if he'd lived to old age). Hope that helps.
I would think most of the nuns of the time who knew of JFK's infidelities would have prayed that he be shot in a different non-life threatning area of the body.
It's hard to tell 1st graders to pray for that though John.
Not for a religious school... You just tell the kids to pray that he was shot in his naughty area.
Telling kids stuff like that makes them think that sex is taboo. It's perfectly alright as long as its within the confines of marriage. (sorry, been reading a lot about preventing teen pregnancy/abstinence programs lately)Telling them that it's naughty just gives them complexes later in life.
We had a Panda Bear come in when I was in 1st grade (Catholic School) and tell us about the private areas. I remember thinking "Why the hell is he here telling us about his privates? We don't have any panda bears in our class." Apparently the concept got lost in translation for me.
Hmm, so many comments but when does one cross the line from nearly making a joke to being completely derogatory about the Catholic church. In hopes of playing it safe, lets go with this comment:
Hmm, a panda bear for sex-ed seems a bad choice. Weren't we reading a couple months ago that pandas need porn to figure out how to get it on. Not sure I would want to trust porn for learning the basics
wow !! From Mom killing JFK to Panda Porn you cover it all or uncover it!
What do you get somebody like this for Xmas? stick.coal,prozack, Gearge Forman Grill???
Scary, were you here when the Sexual Harrassment Panda showed up in our conversation? Nick just told me about that two weeks ago.
Well, when I first read this I was kind of concerned about the negative comments that I might receive. But as I kept reading the comments, the furrows in my brow kept getting deeper and the thoughts in my my started to form into the same thoughts as "Anonymous'" comment. I think it would be safe to say that this blog entry has been the one that veered off track the quickest and the most. And since I was the subject, I thank you.
As a side note it was probably a good thing that we took Erin out of the Catholic school system when she started 5th grade.
No Karin I was not in on that conversation. Apparently I was not the only one scared by this experience.
Yes there was panda porn. It was in the news a while back that this male panda was not "figuring out" how to get the girl panda pregnant. So the zoo keepers gave the bear panda porn to teach him how to do it. Not sure we want a panda that can't figure it out to be filling the gene pool.
My current theory is that this panda couple was also visited by the sexual harassment panda and are trying how to get impregnated without touching each others 'special' places.
Yeah let us know how that works out, panda.
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