Bring Back My Bell To Me, To Me!

I know this is not a death story about GA but it does have dangerous aspects and the sheep of the Erin's Sleepy Sheepy Resort fully support my detour. So deal with it, it is a serious matter.

As some of you may or may not know the GROK lab stole my life force a few months back. Yes that is right, my bell. (moment of silence). I realized my bell was gone after a very dangerous and deadly three round drag out, grip taking, floor rolling, chair crashing, wrestling match that I found myself not victorious. I had almost given up hope until today when Beth gave me the opportunity to regain my rightful place as bell owner.

She wrote “I think the ransom [of my beloved bell] should be based on who can write the best parody song (music of your choice) utilizing the words: Kris, bell, GROK, sheep, Geb, t'was (or other similarly underused contraction), and kumquat”

Here is my winning entry:

Twas the night before December 16, and all through the lab
Not a creature was stirring, not even an undergrad.
The boobs were drying in the basement with care,
In hopes that Geb soon would be there.

The grad students were grumpy all shrugged at their desks,
While visions of video games danced on their screens.
And Justin in his jacket, and I in my cap,
Had just lost our brains in the long-winded class.

When over on Kris's desk there came such a ring,
I sprang from the desk to see what it could be.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the candy drawer and threw up in the trash.

His hand on the breast of the new-dried silicon
"Hey Mikey keep your crap in the basement below!"
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature silver looking sphere.

With a little old dinger, so lively and loud,
I knew in a moment it must be MY BELL!
More quickly than eagles his Hellions came,
And Kris whistled, and ran, and I shouted them by name!

"Now Justin! now, Jamie! now, Mikey and Beth!
Come On! Come On! Give my bell back!
To the top of the filing cabinets! to the bottom of the book case!
Come back! Come back! Don't make me get my mace!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof top terrace
The awkward silence of undergrads sitting on their derriereious
As I drew in my head a picture of a tortured lab,
And they came, the kids that were bad.

They were dressed all in mischief, from their heads to their toes,
Ringing my poor, poor little bell.
I want it back and am sick of the story.
So just give me my bell or else I'll make you watch Maury.

So vote for me, bell owner extraordinaire and a pretty dam good poem writer if I must say. Thank you for your support.

Peachtree City - Here I Come!

My first introduction to Peachtree City, Georgia was last July (2006). I flew in first class down to interview with the consulting company. After about 30 minutes of talking, arguing, fighting, and walking and driving in circles I finally got out my rental convertible from the rental lot. As I was driving my nice rental down the interstate, I noticed that the hood of the convertible was only half attached. There I was driving on a 6 lane interstate in a company rental car using my right hand to steer and my left hand keeping the top from flying off. I started to imagine a semi whipping around me creating a strong wind sending the convertible top flying into the traffic behind me and throwing the rental car in a uncontrollable spin in all 6 lanes causing one of the most deadliest accidents in the history of the automobile. Just then my attention was redirected to my ringing phone. Which happened to be in my bag on the passenger side floor. I looked at my bag and it stopped ringing. It rang again and then again. Some how I managed to hold the hood, stay in my lane (the third lane) and answer the phone that was in my bag. It was the man I was going to interview with. He was worried because I was late from getting the convertible. After hanging up I see my salvation, a liquor store. I pulled in and put the hood on correctly. Then I drove through the town and found myself in the middle of a heavily forested area. I became very worried. The GPS unit that I received with the rental was not working. I realized that I was lost in the woods and that I may never see my friends, family, or anyone else ever again. Once, my tank ran out I would be stranded in the woods and attracted by the many different bugs that are native to Georgia. Then I realized that I had one option for survival. I called the interviewer. Luckily, he knew exactly where I was. I was right in down town Peachtree City. I finally got there and after an interesting supper with the interviewer he drove me around to "show" me the town. He would say "to your left is the Staples" and "up here is the steak house" and such. Unfortunately, I had to point out that all I could see was trees. He realized that I was right and gave up on the tour.

I'm pretty sure there is housing behind that tree
on the right. At least that is where I sleep.

Despite the fact that the town is hiding behind a forest and that I almost died twice in a 6 hour time frame, I decide to take the job. And thus started my journey to the great state of death....um..Georgia!

Thanks Karin!

Thanks Karin for setting up this blog for me. The next few post will be past stories of the last 4 months of Georgia. It should be good. Tune in later for another post!

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