Peach Pit - It's a Pit!

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Sorry I have neglected the blog this month. I had my gall bladder out. Now I'm not as much of a peach as I used to be. :(

Sweet Home Alabama or Boone Dock Saints?

I googled PTC when I moved here as any good geek would do. I got the general information, all the articles about it being a great place to live, and then I found on interesting fact. PTC was a filming place for Sweet Home Alabama. Although, when it first came out I avoided the romantic vomit like the plague, I went out and bought the movie. I put the movie in the DVD player, pushed play, and sat and watched for PTC scenes. The first screen appeared – “Not enough trees.” The second screen appeared – “Still not enough trees.” I could tell that this was going to be a long night. Finally, there was a shot of nothing but tree tops. This had to be it. And then a plane came down over the trees and landed in Peachtree Lake. Satisfied that I saw my new home town in a movie and completely dissatisfied with the movie itself, I put the movie on the shelf to collect dust. And there it sat until Oscar night.

I had just sat down to watch the Oscars with my supper and the phone rang. Grrr… I answered. It was my neighbor asking if I owned Sweet Home Alabama. Embarrassed, I said “Yes.” She asks to borrow it. So during the commercials, I jump up and grab the dusty movie. I ran out the door and then it happened. The door shut behind me. I was officially locked out of my house. Barefoot, I walked over to my neighbor’s, lent them the movie and asked them to call our landlord.

The landlord said that he would not come out and unlock the door. He suggested a lock smith. It was Sunday at 9pm in PTC. Who was going to be open? Then my landlord suggested that I come out to borrow one of his keys, although he didn’t know if he had one for my house. So I asked him how he gets into my place with out one. Apparently the keys are joy riding in his truck with his brother. Okay, great.

So at this point my landlord suggested that I come to his place and pick up a bunch of keys that may open my doors. I point out that I locked myself out, how was I supposed to get to his place in Newnan? “Can’t you get into your garage?” he asks me. Well yeah I can, but I’m not sure how to explain to the car rental place why I had to hot wire the car. So I finally ask my neighbor to give me a lift. My neighbor jumps at the chance because he didn’t want to watch that crappy movie with his wife anyway.

With hand written directions and some borrowed slippers, we are off on our adventure to Newnan. I was very dark by then. We drive through Newnan and check the directions: Drive to the “middle of no where” and “kiss your butt goodbye” and make a left. I didn’t remember seeing this place in Sweet Home Alabama. My neighbor makes a comment about getting beat up down here. I tell him to run all the stops. Then I look at the next direction. “Turn left at the corner with a church.” Gee…so specific. It is the Bible Belt and all.

Just then a critter ran across the road. “What was that!?” my neighbor exclaimed! “I think it was a cat.” I said. He thought it was a rabbit because it was kind of hopping. I said it mush have been a confused hopping cat.

It was getting even darker out and even scarier. I was just about ready to crawl in the back to get the tire iron out when we pulled up to the lane that was marked in the directions. It was too scary for words. You couldn’t see a house or any light from the road. The truck’s headlights shown on the many uninviting trees. A large cast iron gate guarded the property. My landlord must have purchased it from an Addams’ Family movie sale. We sat there looking at the property and at each other. We had come all this way but neither of us wanted to go up. We called the landlord and he tells us to come up. We muster up enough courage and the truck slowly crept up the long windy lane.

Finally we see the house. The landlord comes out and hands me about 20-25 keys. He tells me that he doesn’t know what key goes to which of his rental properties. Great, now I have all the keys to his places. Hmmm…time for one quick robbery? NO! We need to get out of this twilight zone! I thanked my landlord and we high tailed it out of there.

We start reading the directions backwards. All of a sudden, “What the h*ll is that!” Up a head there was something sitting in the middle of the road. We get closer. It is a possum! It was the biggest possum I have ever seen in my entire life! We got closer. The possum didn’t budge. It was so big it looked like it could eat a Mac truck. My neighbor’s little truck didn’t stand a chance. The possum was staring us down and it was winning. It had a “you don’t belong here” look on its face. Or maybe that was just a constipated look. Either way, I didn’t want to stick around to find out. We swerved and almost hit the ditch. Over the tracks…as long as we could get over the tracks we should be saved. As we went over, I saw a light on the tracks. My neighbor saw it too but he didn’t want to stick around to find out what it was. In a complete miracle we found our way out and back to the safety of PTC.

Now, I have 25 keys. Which one, if any, will unlock my door? I felt like I was on the Price is Right. I try the first one. It opens the door! I won! I won my cold supper! YEAH!!! I thank my neighbor and he was just happy he made it there and back alive. And more importantly, he didn’t have to watch that stupid movie.

Deal or No Deal?

As a result of my unfortunate event with the prehistoric woman that destroyed my car, I was forced to hunt for a new mode of transportation for me and the Sleepy Sheepy Resort. I was less than ecstatic to spend my nights and weekends talking to used car dealers. But I took one for the team and went.

For the first hunt, I went to the Morrow GMC and Toyota dealerships. I dressed appropriately in jeans, a Killer Bunny t-shirt, and College of Engineering hat. I figured the less girly the better for dealing with these cut throats. I pulled up in the GMC parking lot. Before I was able to turn off my ignition, there was the first dealer standing at my door. I was able to take him by surprise as I pulled up in a new Mazda 6 (my rental), but that quickly wore off. He asked me what I wanted in a car, and I was very clear. “I want a car that has 6 cylinders and big windows I can see out of.” Hmmm…he started to show me the new line of Mazda. At each car I would say, “The windows are a little small, is this a 6 cylinders engine?” He would say, “Hmm…let me look, no, but wouldn’t you look great in this?” As my patience wore thin, I finally got him to the used car section and even got to drive a car. A real car! I was a Pontiac sedan and I hated it. Then I drove a Pontiac Vibe and liked the car but still couldn’t see. I left the lot THREE HOURS later extremely dissatisfied with my experience. I wanted to go home but made myself continue the hunt next door.

The Toyota dealership was a complete zoo. There was no place to park. I drove around trying to find a parking spot while dodging the people walking around. Finally I was able to park and walk around a little before a man approached me. I said very directly, “I want to drive that Ford Taurus and that Toyota Matrix.” The sales man got the keys and gave me the Matrix car keys. I was a little confused as the GMC dealer would not let me drive the car out of the parking spaces. But I took it and we were off. The dealer noticed my hat and told me he went to Iowa State for Civil Engineering. Small world I guess. I was very polite and I wondered how you go from one of the top engineering schools to a used car dealer. I liked the Matrix a lot.

The Ford drove poorly. I was surprised at the poor shape it was in, but I really was just looking. The window said $390. I asked what that meant and was told it was the monthly payments. “O, how many months?” I asked. The dealer did not know, we had to ask the banker. Okay, it was a game like Deal or No Deal, I got it. So we went to talk to the banker. This slick talker came up and poured on the charm. However, I asked him a million different ways and never got the price of the car. Finally, when he asked me what I wanted to spend I left. I didn’t like that game.

Then next hunt was at CarMax in Morrow. The dealer there was a physics major. Wow, lots of smart people selling used cars. I drove a few cars, liked the place but nothing in the lot really caught my eye.

The next weekend I went to Newnan to the Ford and Toyota dealerships. This time I decided to go to the movies after car shopping so dressed a little nicer and did my hair. I figured I could brave the wild in style. It was just a big stereotype of car dealers, right? At the Ford dealer I walked the entire lot and never was approached. I had to go into the store where about 10 old men were. Standing there for a while I had to ask for someone to help me. NO one jumped but I finally got someone to let me test drive a sedan. Only one though. No more than that. But the dealer did show me the nice extra roomy glove compartment. Wasn’t that sweet of him? I was really trying hard not to physically harm the dealers.

The Toyota dealer was nice and let me drive another Matrix. I was hooked. But I really liked Carmax. So I looked on line to order a Matrix. I found one, went to order, sold. Found another, went to order, sold. And again. FINALLY, I got one. I reeled it in all the way from Miami.

It was love a first sight. Now I just had to arm wrestle the bank and choke hold the old lady’s insurance company and the car was mine. Yup, my very own 2003 Toyota Matrix. Partially loaded. You know it has an engine, a chassis, and rear defrost. Jesse really liked it. We went for a drive to see how the new wheels of the Sleepy Sheepy Resort handled. It got 2 hoofs up.

Jesse taking the Resort's new car out for a spin. (Click to enlarge)

Now if I can just keep this car in one piece. People are always trying to hit me. I think people are told that they get better gas mileage if they don’t use the blinker. Or maybe they just don’t know what it is. No driver’s education required to drive. So hopefully I will survive the crazy drivers of the roads.