Feel the Burn?

(Click to enlarge)

Baaa Baaaaa BAAAA!!!

Baaaa Baaaa Baaa baaaaa
BAAAA Baaa BAAA Baaa
Umm…baaa…ummm…..hi, ya okay. HI!!!
Hi I’m Chris Mac!
It’s Jesse BAAAA!!
Yeah that was D.J.
Little one doesn’t really speak
too much English much. Baaa! Baaa!
BAAAAAAAAAA!
D.J. Baaaa!
Look bell!! Oooo Baaaa bing!
Bing!
Ok, so we broke on to the
Blog while Erin is busy
painting her face. We
wanted to clear up some things
that Erin types in her last
post. Like what we were
doing at the resort when
Erin was gone and…. Baaaa!
AND about that bird.
O yeah our bird. Well, you…
It’s a MOCKING BIRD! BAAA!
Um...yeah so that bird is a
MOCKING BIRD!
Okay, Jesse, I think they got it.
Go back to your coloring books. Bing. baaa
O okay.
Anyway, you know how Erin was talking about that BAAAA! bird that Erin was complaining about? Well we heard the neighbor say it was a MOCKIGNBIRD. Um….yeah. A Georgia Mockingbird. Like in that book, To Kill a Mockingbird. I think Erin likes that book too much but maybe just for the title. BAA!
Yeah D.J. Likes Scout. And our mockingbird was mocking a car alarm yesterday. It was GREAT!!! Bing!
Ooo yellow!!!
Ug…yeah well. O back to the smoke day. I saw that Erin said that Sonny Perdue maybe burning down Georgia. There are SOOO many fires down here. It’s like Sonny is trying to be Nero. Do we really have to burn Rome, again? But unlike Erin I understand his thinking. Maybe he is a sheep. See, Georgia is all up in a tizzy about illegal immigrants. And they say that most are from Mexico. Mexico City has the most densely smog in the world. So if they fill Georgia with smog everyone will die except those that are used to it. So it will be really easy to spot the people that are from Mexico City. And then they can check all the live people it they have visas. Bing!

The sad thing is our tags say China and not Mexico. So we didn’t want to die. But no worries because I watch a lot of action movies and knew exactly what to do. I turned into Sheepo and grabbed the fire extinguisher. It has a pin just like a grenade and thus works just like it. You pull the pin; toss the extinguisher in slow motion while mouthing a word that is soo slow you don’t understand it; and when the extinguisher lands it destroys everything in its path. Just like a grenade for fire. And the I get fame and glory for saving the resort. And all is good. But Erin came home and told me that we were safe. Which is good too. But I sleep on the fire extinguisher now. Just in case.
I helped too!!
You crawled into the dryer. Beehhh
Yup, so?
So how did crawling in the
dryer help save the resort?
Well I had a spray bottle! Check the picture!
It works better if there is
water in it. What were
you going to do with it?
Well when the fire came I was going to throw it and let the fire take it instead of the resort.
Yeah, good job.
Thanks! :)
BAAAAAAAA!
Ok D.J. your turn. What were you doing?
Baaa!
Yeah lots of question for you, lets just start. How did you get to the top shelf with the cornstarch and cooking sherry?
Baaa Beeeehhhh!
O there is a picture.

Baaa

BAaaaa!

O Erin is not going to like that. Hmmm….
What was the cooking sherry for again?
Baaaa.
Okay, good.
O baaa, I hear Erin. Her face must be all gone. Baaa!
Baaaa
Beeehhhh Baaaa
Baaa Baaa
Bye! BYE!!!! BAAAA!! Bing…oooo

O the joys of nature

This morning started off like every other evil morning in Georgia. My alarm went off; I hit snooze; and that darn bird started up again. Yes, I know we should all love nature and try to save it and blah blah blah vomit. Where did I put that arsenic? Um…anyway….I have a crazy bird that lives outside my window. It is trying to hook up with my alarm clock. It has learned to mimic the exact pitch and patter of my alarm. So every day from my room you can hear “zonk, zonk, zonk” (alarm clock) SMACK (snooze) “zonk, zonk, zonk” (slightly challenged Georgia bird). So I got up and tried not to think about what kind of animal/machine would come from an alarm clock – bird mating and headed to the bathroom to beautify myself for the day.

After getting all beautified to go sit in my office by myself all day I stepped outside. I was hit! Hit by the smell of smoke. Now being that I live in the middle of a forest, smoke seems to bother me a bit more than it used to. I looked around. Didn’t see anything burning? The smoke was kind of thin, so I determined that it must be from somewhere other than my neighborhood. I got in my car and drove to work. I stepped out of my car and there it was again. This mysterious smoke was really starting to bother me. Hmmm…well I did what any logical person does when they smell smoke; I checked the internet for news. I figured it was coming from the big tire burning in Butts County Georgia. Which is only a few counties over from me. Later I would find out it was smoke from the Georgia/Florida border fire some 300 miles away. (I think it is a new illegal immigration tactic Sonny Perdue is putting into place. They are wicked serous about illegals around here. I have no idea why anyone would fight to get into Georgia!)

Anyway, I go home to find I was not the only one worried about this mystery smoke. I saw Chris Mac sitting on the fireplace with the fire extinguisher. I asked Chris what was up. To which I got, “well I’m guarding the resort from the fire. And it will come in at the fireplace because that is where the fire belongs.” Ok, well I guess that makes sense to a sheep. Then I asked, "Chris do you know how to use a fire extinguisher?" Chris, "Yup, just like a grenade. I see it all the time in movies." O great. I explained to Chris that the fire was really far aways and that we just had to watch out not to breath too much of the smoke. We were in the orange zone but we would be fine inside. Then I got a little worried because Chris is the brightest sheep in the herd at the resort. (But Chris is still a sheep, so…)

Chris Mac guarding the fireplace.

Then I heard some thumping from the laundry room. I enter and there was Jesse in the dryer. I asked Jesse, “Why are you in the dryer?” To which Jesse said, “Well I was going to climb into the washer to hide from the fire in water because I know water beats fire. But then the washer was too heigh so I climbed in the dryer instead.” Hmmm…more sheep logic. I told Jesse that it was safe to come out.

Jesse hiding in the dryer.

Now there is one more sheep that lives at the resort D.J. I can only image what D.J. got into. I looked and looked and finally I found D.J. behind the door in the den. I asked D.J., “What are you doing! And why are you behind the door?” D.J. looked at me with teared eyes and said, “I’m hiding from the fire. It won’t find me behind the door. And I got these candles to fight the fire if it does find me. And if I couldn’t fight the fire with fire than I have this cornstarch to throw on it.” O dear. Good thing I have sheep safety on the lighter. I said, “D.J. were did you get this idea to use fire and cornstarch to fight the fire?” D.J., “well, I heard on the news that they were building fires to stop the fires. And I’ve seen you cook.” Hmmm…okay. Then I asked, “D.J. what is with the cooking sherry?” D.J. replied, “Just in case.” O the sheep logic is strong with this one.

D.J. and the cooking sherry.

So after getting everything put back where it belonged I sat the sheep down and we had a conversation. I explained that the fire was very very far away. I told them that it was very safe in Georgia. (Some times you have to lie to sheep so they can sleep at night. It is hard for them to count themselves.) So I got all the sheep settled down. Then it started rain. And I said, “See the rain will keep fire away.” And then we saw lightning.

Poor sheep.