Super Fly's cousin

Seattle has been treating me pretty good. Nothing too exciting. I did get in a car accident but we'll talk about that later. Yesterday I just decided to stay inside and relax. You know...one of those days where you hang out in your pjs all day and watch tv. So I was off to a good start. I was chatting online watching tv when I felt this itchy feeling on my foot. I looked down there was this bug on my foot. The thing was over an inch long with a billion little legs. This huge black and yellow thing was trying to gnaw my foot off. And now my neighbors knew it, too.

I flipped the bug off and then I grabbed the first paper thing in my hand (my bank statement envelop). I smacked the paper on top of the bug and did the universal squishing motion to kill it. Then I tossed the trash can on top of it just to be safe.

There is a evil bug under here. Stand back.

So like any very emotional girl I left the bug under the bucket and got online to ask my guy friends to come and take care of it. They all said no. Apparently I am not worth the flight from Iowa to Seattle. Losers. So I was stuck dealing with it myself or redecorating so that the trash can looked good sitting in the middle of the room.

Well I pulled off the can and lifted the paper and O MY GOD the thing was still moving. Moving towards me at a rapid rate! I tossed the paper back on it and showed the little bugger what I got for 6 years of engineering school.

Did someone wanted to play Erin's version of the Princess and the Pea?

I figured that would kill me so it should kill the bug. I pushed down on the books and went back to my chatting for a while. Then I decided I should clean up. But who wants to clean up bug guts? :P So I start to unpack and once I get to the bottom of my pile of knowledge I hear this noise. It started to get louder. And I realized it was coming from under my envelope. Are you kidding me!? I couldn't believe it; there is no way this thing is still alive.

Someone else look; I can't do it.

So I mustered up the guts to look under the paper. The bug was there, alive, buzzing and moving around. That's it! Its not the first time I have killed a bug and I don't know why this one won't die. So I pulled out the big guns or rather my hammer. I put down a paper towel and went to town on that bugs little ass. I'm sure my neighbor below me loves me now. But I got the little bugger...I think.

Bug, meet Mr. Hammer.

Mr. Hammer, meet BugBug, your new home, the toilet.

And then it was done. Well, the bug was dead but I think I need to go though therapy. Last night I didn't sleep a wink. Every time I felt something I thought it was a bug. I woke up with my pj bottoms on backwards. Don't ask. Its better to let it die in the past.

Act now and get your own Erin Bug Killing Kit

in the mail for only $2000 plus shipping and Handling!